Thursday, February 27, 2014

Coming up for air.

And finally the paperwork is done - signed, sealed and delivered so I am now officially on academic leave. Huh, who would have guessed that such a seemingly small thing could turn into one of the hardest decisions I've made in a long time. It might have something to do with the fact that my worker bee mentality has a hard time understanding the concept of free time or how one can even afford such luxuries as time off from something. But if there's anything I regret, it's the fact that I didn't have the courage to do this years ago, to take time just for myself and explore the world a bit. It's incredibly easy to lose yourself in your work and feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle. My battle being that I'm about to graduate a bachelors in fashion design and I still wonder weather this is the right major for me. It's like discovering that a big part of you isn't yours at all. And it makes you wonder what else you cannot claim. Almost like the feeling you get, when you realize that you've listened to you favorite song so many times, that the melody you once fell in love with is now just white noise. But don't get me wrong, this is a good thing. We often need to lose sight of our priorities in order to see them. And to quote Tove Jansson: "A person can find anything if he takes the time, that is, if he can afford to look. And while he’s looking, he’s free, and he finds things he never expected." ..and I feel light as a feather. So here's a little selection of photographs that have been bored out of their minds in my computer for the past few months, waiting for me to arrange them here for you to see. And I know that everything is nice and springy now and you're all probably fed up with the cold and winter and whatnot. But if it were up to me I would make snow angels all year around and count every single snowflake twice. Hope you like the pictures and be sure to tell me what you think :)

Paberid täidetud, saadetud, tembeldatud ja olengi nüüd ametlikult akadeemilisel! Huh, kes oleks võinud arvata, et sellisest lihtsast asjast võib saada maailmaraske otsus. Tundub, et mu töömesilase mentaliteet ei mõista, misasi on vaba aeg ja kuidas üldse on võimalik endale sellist luksust nagu puhkus lubada. Aga kui on üldse midagi, mida kahetseda, siis see, et mul ei ole varem olnud piisavalt julgust ja hakkamist, et aeg maha võtta ja natuke maailma avastada. Otsida ja vaadata, mis on see, mis paneks vere uuesti keema ja näpud suurest teotahtest kibelema. Hästi lihtne on pidevalt mingist mäest üles rassides end kõige selle sisse ära kaotada. Minu mäeks siis antud juhul koolilõpp ja tunneli lõpus paistev moedisaini baka ning üha enam süvenev kõhklus, et võibolla ei olegi see eriala üldse minu jaoks. Päris hirmus on avastada, et suur osa sinust on järsku kadunud, ja asi, mis kunagi pakkus nii suurt rõõmu ja rahulolu ei ole üldse enam see. Umbes nagu hetk, mil märkad, et oled oma lemmikloo nii ribadeks kuulanud, et nüüd võiks samahästi telekas taustaks sahiseda, sest ilusast meloodiast on saanud staatiline müra. Aga tegelikult on see kõik väga hea, vahel tuleb lasta endal totaalselt ära eksida, et siis see õige teeots jälle üles leida. Ja nüüd kui Tove Janssoni Suvearaamatust ka mõni killuke ilusat tarkust välja noppida siis: “Kõike leiab, kui on aega otsida, see tähendab, kui saad endale otsimist lubada, otsides oled vaba ja leiad asju, mida ei oskaks uneski näha." Ühesõnaga üle pika aja miski imeliselt kerge tunne. Ja nüüd on teie ees väike valik pildikesi, mis tegelikult juba paar kuud mu arvutis igavlenud on. Ja ma tean, et kõik kisub juba maru kevadeks ja tegelikult ei taha vist keegi enam seda külma ja lund näha, aga kui maailm oleks minu teha, siis nühiks ma vist küll aasta ringselt hangedesse ingleid ja loeks kõik lumehelbed kokku. Aga teie, mu hiirekesed, olge ikka tublid ja ma loodan, et pildid meeldivad :) 

(I used CanonEOS 600D and 50mm lens for the photographs)
(Lace dress from Choies.com, brooches are vinatge from Fríða Frænka, 1950's bag is also vintage, quilted jacket from Choies.com, beanie from Romwe.com)
The Acid - Basic Instinct

35 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos <3333


    carlyyy-m.blogspot.com

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  2. Such beautiful photos of Reykjavik, I love Iceland so much and visited there recently to, check it out on my blog xoxo

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  3. Such a stunning photos! And you look awesome in this magic land <3

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  4. This post makes me so excited for my trip to Iceland next week! Your photos are always so amazing!
    Hope you have a lovely week!

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. I recently realized that my major might not have been exactly the right choice for me, but I feel like it is too late for me to change course now....
    I hope you will find the right path for yourself, though ; )

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  6. Oh, ma ei jõua kuidagi ära oodata mil ma novembris Reykjaviki saan. Kogu see ilu ja muusika... Su pildid on ka kohutavalt ilusad ja see on lihtsalt kirjeldamatu kuidas sa sinna sobid, selle lumega, väga ilus :). Prossid mütsi küljes on eriti hea mõte.

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    1. Aitäh Liisi, ma usun, et Reykjavik teeb sulle kiisupai ja jääb kindlasti kohaks, kuhu alati tagasi minna :)

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  7. I love the photos! Awesome work! :)

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  8. I totally agree with you. This is how Im feeling with my multimedia arts degree that Im trying to complete. Losing myself and it's quite ironic because I took what I love in the first place. You're incredibly talented, so don't worry! :) I love your photographs and your artworks :)

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  9. awesome photos! <3 <3

    http://japobsganbare.blogspot.com/

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  10. In love with your photos ♥

    http://tomidnightcity.blogspot.com.es/

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  11. these pictures are breathtaking, you look beautiful. i know how you feel, sometimes I doubt myself and my decisions too. xx

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  12. Your photos are absolutelly beautiful!

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  13. awesome colors, photos & atmosphere ;)

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  14. I love your photos so much :) And you are also beautiful!

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  15. I adore winter, and most of your photos have definitely brought out the majesty of them (or at least what I imagine it to be, haha)! Beautiful.

    http://frankiensteins.blogspot.com

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  16. Beautiful writing and amazing pictures!

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  17. I think sometimes we all need a break to remind ourselves the purpose.i think we get so lost doing something we once loved that we forget the reason we started and we begin to feel lost and frustrated. the break can do amazing things and bring the new inspiration we once needed. hope that you will have amazing time during yours. just take time, learn new things about yourself and see how you changed over time. explore the world and have fun! i wish all the best to you x
    kisses
    nitabiti

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    1. Such sweet words. Thank you so much Weronika :)

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  18. Gorgeous, dreamy, and inspiring photos, as always! Enjoy your break! :-)

    Blog

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  19. I feel the same sometimes. I often think what if there's something I would enjoy more or be better at and I'm missing out on it? It's quite a scary thought.

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  20. Gorgeous pictures and outfit, as usual <3

    The Quirky Queer

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  21. Never lose faith and don't give up on your priorities. I am a huge fan of your works. Greetings from Poland :)

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  22. love the blue hair clip!

    http://layersofchic.blogspot.com

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  23. I can never get enough of your winter photos [: This set is no exception; those are some beautiful pics! Glad to hear you've made a decision that's best for you, as oftentimes those are the most difficult decisions to make. I'm happy for you! Hope you enjoy the time off and find a better sense of your priorities [:

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  24. I love this post Kerti <3 It's so refreshing and honest. The imagery is gorgeous as always too! I'm excited to hear all about your next venture x

    dorothyandolive.com

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  25. Beautiful !
    marjorieshabille.blogspot.com

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  26. Hi Pretty! :) I love your touching photos <3 Beautiful Iceland in your amazing lens! ;) And I'm so inspired in your sense of style - great as always! ;)

    Kisses and hugs,
    Marentora :)
    www.marentora-everdream.blogspot.com

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  27. Dear Kerti,

    I can't admire your aspirations and endurance enough. You are an outstanding person, with energy, dreams, visions and lots of effort, to come closer and to fight for your targets. I'm really proud of you and I'm very excited that your strong will and positive energy give the power to fight for my dreams, over and over again.
    You're a gift from heaven!

    Love
    Matthias

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  28. photos are beautiful, as always.
    best wishes on your new journey and point of view! and do keep updated! <3

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  29. You are so pretty *_*
    I totally understand you. This is my last year on faculty before heading on to doctor studies and I catc myself thinking about a year off all the time...

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