Saturday, February 23, 2013

Make a little birdhouse in your soul.

A few months back I finally decided to man up, be a brave little trooper and face one of my biggest fears. I don't think I've mentioned this on my blog before but I have a terrible fear of needles. And by terrible I mean completely irrational, all consuming, paralyzing fear. I remember this one time when I was at the hospital with my mom, she was giving blood in the next room and I was waiting in the hall. There was a window and to pass the time I remember looking at this sad little birch tree that was growing in the parking lot. Suddenly one birch became two, two became four and the next thing I know, I was on the ground. So just the idea of needles poking around in some ones skin was enough for me to pass out. So you see the extent of my little phobia. But as I said I finally faced the mother of all my fears and got a tattoo that I've been longing for years. And if you ignore the fact that I almost passed out after the first three minutes and the tattoo artist had to run out for some water and ammonia, I think I did pretty good. Anyway it's a line from the most beautiful poem, written by an Estonian author Artur Alliksaar. I'm not going to translate it, not even going to try. I think it's just one of those things that would get lost in translation. But his words have haunted, inspired and given me peace of mind for as long as I can remember so I'm very happy to always have them with me now. But I'm going to let you enjoy the pictures now, I hope you like them and be sure to tell me what you think :)

Seda aastat alustasin ma äärmiselt vapra väikese sõdalasena. Ma pole vist seda varem maininud, aga mul on tohutu hirm süstalde ees. Ja kui ma ütlen tohutu, siis ma mõtlen täiesti seletamatu, kõikehaarav, kohutav hirm. Mäletan, kui olin emaga kaasas kui viimane otsustas minna verd andma. Ootasin kordoris, kus oli väike aken, millest ma siis ajaviiteks ühte õnnetut kasepuud jälgisin, mis kõigi ja kõige kiuste haigla parkla keskel kasvas. Igaljuhul sai järsku ühest kasest kaks, kahest neli ja juba järgmisel hetkel olin ma pikali ning üks väga hüsteeriline õde suskis nuuskpiirituse tupsuga mu nina all. Ehk piisas vaid teadmisest, et kõrval ruumis on inimesed, kellel on veenides nõelad ja kõik maailma õudused saidki mu peas kokku ja aju otsustas kiire restardi kasuks. Aga nagu ma mainisin, siis alustasin seda aastat äärmiselt võidukalt. Nimelt otsustasin lõpuks jänesed põuest välja peksta ja oma kõige suuremast hirmust üle saada ning teha ära tatoveeringu, mida olen juba kaua-kaua igatsenud. Ja kui ignoreerida fakti, et ma esimese 3 minuti jooksul peaagu pildi taskusse panin ja tubli tindivabriku noorhärra pidi vee ja nuuskpiirituse järgi lippama, siis sain ma päris kenasti hakkama. Ja nüüd ongi minuga alatiseks kaasas Artur Alliksaare kõige ilusamad sõnad, kõige imelisemast väikesest luuletusest, mis on mind juba aastaid kummitanud, inspireerinud ja keerulistel aegadel lohutust pakkunud. Aga teie, mu hiirekesed, olge ikka tublid, ja ma loodan, et pildid meeldivad. :)

(I used CanonEOS 600D and 50mm lens for the photographs)
(skirt from Romwe.com, blouse from Cozbest.com)
Of Monsters and Men - King And Lionheart

69 comments:

  1. wow, congratulations! I have very similar needle phobias, and would never take that plunge in a million years.

    ReplyDelete
  2. congrats, it's beautiful! I wish I understood what it meant. your blouse is beautiful as well :)
    tr[i]b[e]cca

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gorgeous artwork! You're very talented!

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. woooowww amazing pictures. you are so beautiful. that tattoo is cool :)

    http://puputnopitasari.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Such creative photos! I love the bird concept. And your artwork is amazing; I would seriously hang them on my wall haha. Anyway congrats on the new tattoo! I don't have a fear of needles but I do fear getting something I might regret later on so I've been on the fence about a tattoo. Yours looks so pretty; I wish I knew what it meant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I know the feeling. I waited 2 and half years before I even started thinking about getting the tattoo for real. :)

      Delete
  7. Beautiful !!!!

    Http://Fashioneiric.blogspot.com

    Coline ♡

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mul endal on ka väga suur hirm süstalde ees, mitte kuidagi ei talu mõtet sellest vaatepildist ja kohe kui kuskil süstlaid näen, siis iseenesest pööran pea ära ja näole tekib vastikust väljendav grimass.
    Aga väga kenad pildid! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow :O I've never seen that amazing pictures as you do!

    ReplyDelete
  10. What does your tattoo say? :) Great pictures, love the colors!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love your illustrations, well done for having the courage for the tattoo, it must have been very difficult.. And I adore that song at the bottom, I am listening to it as I write and it is so beautifulxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, need pildid on imelised! Linnuidee on lihtsalt suurepärane.

    ReplyDelete
  13. wow, absolutely amazing photos! <3

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congrats on facing your fears - so brave of you! I love how your tattoo looks even though I can't read it nor understand it. :) You're photos are amazing as always. Suggestion - to make that drawing of you with camera as your header - it's great, and to post more of your lovely drawings. I love drawings (even though I can't draw myself).
    heart,
    nena.

    www.alice-in-wonderland22.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Yay, that was the plan actually. Cause I made the drawing for the current header over four years ago and looks so krooked and weird :)
      And it would be nice for a change.

      Delete
  15. You look amazing, I love blouse ♥♥ xx A.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My dear, I just can put in words how much I love your blog. <3 you're awesomeawesomeawesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. beautiful photos as always , i really like the tattoo and i wish i knew what does it say :) it must be wonderful

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your photos are from Wonderland, aren't they?
    Amazing♥
    musliwithmilk.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!
    I really appreciate all the lovely comments :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Love your photos! sooooo beautiful!
    Have a lovely day! xo

    thecleverfoxblog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. nice photos :)

    http://raspberryandlemonshake.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. Attention all Kerti Pahk fans!
    I've made a website for all of Kerti Pahk's fans to enjoy. The address is kertiiifans.webs.com.
    Please join if you're a real kerti Pahk fan.

    ReplyDelete
  23. love your tatoo it's so pretty and adore the skirt<3
    your artwork is also amazing you are such an amazing artist
    xx ish
    http://tiny-heart-beats.blogspot.nl/

    ReplyDelete
  24. Its beautiful and so are you :)

    xo Ashley
    luckylittlebird.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jällegi üks väga armas postitus!

    Kelly

    http://thekelluuu.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. i love your skirt! and the pictures are wonderful as usual! :-) x

    ReplyDelete
  27. oh, and the tattoo looks nice, too! x

    ReplyDelete
  28. Your photos always inspires me.. And not only photos. Your outfits, drawings, thoughts - everything gives me so many positive emotions. Thank you gor your blog! You're gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun ütle, mis sul seal käekesel kirjas seisab?

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm in love with your pictures everytime! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  31. So inpirering and beautiful pics! You are so talented!<3

    http://celebritiesandfashionnews.blogspot.de/

    ReplyDelete
  32. such beautiful pictures and the tattoo is so pretty. so proud of you that you faced your fears.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  33. Your tattoo looks amazing! :)
    I also have huge fear of needles and last summer I got my first tattoo too, so I really know what you mean.. I'm very happy for you! You faced your fear and got something you really wanted. Congrats, dear! <3
    And the pictures are fantastic as always! Such an inspiration!

    Desislava
    http://truedreamcatcher.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  34. so great that you faced your fear so bravely! the tattoo is very beautiful and the font used suits you perfectly! beautiful pictures also, as always. :) and the song in the end is so beautiful, my favourite from Of Monsters And Men!

    I love your blog so much, you're a true inspiration!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  35. You look so beautiful! :)

    http://maddenim.blogspot.fi/

    ReplyDelete
  36. The photographs are flawlessly beautiful, and your beauty is like I've just woke up from a wonderful dream :)
    I admire the fact that you faced your fear... My major phobia are cockroaches, and I know what it is to be consumed by an irrational fear to the point of interfeer in your daily life. Hugs and kisses xx

    www.nancywilde.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  37. You look so beautiful and the tattoo is really pretty! Its awesome that you overcame you fears. Kudos!
    Xx
    Rhea
    http://fuss.co.in

    ReplyDelete
  38. great pictures!!
    http://inyasuniverse.blogspot.be/

    ReplyDelete
  39. Nii ilusad pildid:)

    iluelu.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  40. Amazing pictures!
    On my blog, i talk a little bit about your pictures :)

    http://theheavyglowblog.blogspot.com.br/2013/01/as-inspiradoras-fotos-de-kerti-pahk_31.html

    ReplyDelete
  41. I cannot read the tattoo's writing.
    It would be nice if you posted the estonian words (so maybe I can put them into the google translator ;))
    Your pics are amazing as usually, you little beauty (:
    And I am amazed by your drawings <3

    ReplyDelete
  42. I would really love to buy the skirt but I can't find it anywhere on the site. Along with that crystal embellished blouse, would you please give me the direct link to both-if it's too much to ask. I really really want them to wear :/ Thanks! :D

    ReplyDelete
  43. Woooow! Amazing photos, you look sooo cute^)
    http://just-vi-blog.blogspot.ru/

    ReplyDelete
  44. Wow and congratulations! :)
    I have one question too. I think that do I have any change to see your graphic designer portfolio?

    ReplyDelete
  45. I love this collection , I like to buy all these collection.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Millisest luuletusest see rida võetud on ja mida see ütleb?

    ReplyDelete
  47. nice one
    http://www.toponlinemovie.net

    ReplyDelete
  48. Great pictures, from Indonesian with love
    http://pulauparipulautidung.com

    ReplyDelete
  49. hello there! I just love your blog, so beautiful! you are soo pretty!
    Love from italy XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  50. Heey there!

    You are so beatufull, I can't believe!
    You look like a little doll :3

    With Love, Letícia.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ulmeline, kuidas üks neiu saab nii ebamaiselt kaunis olla :) Iga kord imetlen, seekord mõtlesin kommentaari ka kirjutad :D

    Päikest
    Stella

    ReplyDelete
  52. Super artykuł.
    Wróciłam z blogiem. Zapraszam do siebie, artykuły o odchudzaniu i nie tylko.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Beautiful pictures and yes...great thought of how to overcome your fear or phobia...very good description...Keep it up!!!

    Useful Link-Gmail Support

    Thanks for sharing....

    ReplyDelete
  54. Su pildimaailm on endiselt nagu imeline muinasjutt ja hea näha, et tegusa aja jooksul ikka vahel leiad aega seda maailma jagada :) Alliksaar on ka minu lemmik, aga polegi sellist lauset kuulnud - uudishimust hakkasin otsima ja leidsin, et need vist siiski tunduvad P-E. Rummo sõnad olema... See muidugi ei vähenda mõtet ega ilu ja tätoveeringud on tõesti võimsad, kuna need sõnad või pildid saavad olla Sulle kõige lähemal ning ka õigel hetkel meelde tuletamas seda, mis on oluline.

    Kõike kaunist! Ja ikka inspiratsioonipäikest! :)

    ReplyDelete
  55. I bought quality clothes and shoes I super love at https://www.justfor5pounds.com

    ReplyDelete
  56. Thank you for another wonferdul article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such information.
    cool math games| coolmathgames| cool math| coolmath| math games| cool math a-z| coolmath games
    b cubed| b-cubed| barbie games| friv 4 school| friv4school| free online games

    ReplyDelete
  57. KUNJUNGI BLOG KAMI DAN DAPATKAN INFO RUMAH KAYU KNOCK DOWN DIJUAL MURAH, HARGA MULAI DARI 20 JUTAAN HINGGA RATUSAN JUTA RUPIAH.
    MELAYANI BONGKAR PASANG DAN PENGIRIMAN KESELURUH INDONESIA. INFO LENGKAP KLIK LINK DIBAWAH INI.
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah
    desain rumah

    ReplyDelete