Saturday, February 23, 2013

Make a little birdhouse in your soul.

A few months back I finally decided to man up, be a brave little trooper and face one of my biggest fears. I don't think I've mentioned this on my blog before but I have a terrible fear of needles. And by terrible I mean completely irrational, all consuming, paralyzing fear. I remember this one time when I was at the hospital with my mom, she was giving blood in the next room and I was waiting in the hall. There was a window and to pass the time I remember looking at this sad little birch tree that was growing in the parking lot. Suddenly one birch became two, two became four and the next thing I know, I was on the ground. So just the idea of needles poking around in some ones skin was enough for me to pass out. So you see the extent of my little phobia. But as I said I finally faced the mother of all my fears and got a tattoo that I've been longing for years. And if you ignore the fact that I almost passed out after the first three minutes and the tattoo artist had to run out for some water and ammonia, I think I did pretty good. Anyway it's a line from the most beautiful poem, written by an Estonian author Artur Alliksaar. I'm not going to translate it, not even going to try. I think it's just one of those things that would get lost in translation. But his words have haunted, inspired and given me peace of mind for as long as I can remember so I'm very happy to always have them with me now. But I'm going to let you enjoy the pictures now, I hope you like them and be sure to tell me what you think :)

Seda aastat alustasin ma äärmiselt vapra väikese sõdalasena. Ma pole vist seda varem maininud, aga mul on tohutu hirm süstalde ees. Ja kui ma ütlen tohutu, siis ma mõtlen täiesti seletamatu, kõikehaarav, kohutav hirm. Mäletan, kui olin emaga kaasas kui viimane otsustas minna verd andma. Ootasin kordoris, kus oli väike aken, millest ma siis ajaviiteks ühte õnnetut kasepuud jälgisin, mis kõigi ja kõige kiuste haigla parkla keskel kasvas. Igaljuhul sai järsku ühest kasest kaks, kahest neli ja juba järgmisel hetkel olin ma pikali ning üks väga hüsteeriline õde suskis nuuskpiirituse tupsuga mu nina all. Ehk piisas vaid teadmisest, et kõrval ruumis on inimesed, kellel on veenides nõelad ja kõik maailma õudused saidki mu peas kokku ja aju otsustas kiire restardi kasuks. Aga nagu ma mainisin, siis alustasin seda aastat äärmiselt võidukalt. Nimelt otsustasin lõpuks jänesed põuest välja peksta ja oma kõige suuremast hirmust üle saada ning teha ära tatoveeringu, mida olen juba kaua-kaua igatsenud. Ja kui ignoreerida fakti, et ma esimese 3 minuti jooksul peaagu pildi taskusse panin ja tubli tindivabriku noorhärra pidi vee ja nuuskpiirituse järgi lippama, siis sain ma päris kenasti hakkama. Ja nüüd ongi minuga alatiseks kaasas Artur Alliksaare kõige ilusamad sõnad, kõige imelisemast väikesest luuletusest, mis on mind juba aastaid kummitanud, inspireerinud ja keerulistel aegadel lohutust pakkunud. Aga teie, mu hiirekesed, olge ikka tublid, ja ma loodan, et pildid meeldivad. :)

(I used CanonEOS 600D and 50mm lens for the photographs)
(skirt from Romwe.com, blouse from Cozbest.com)
Of Monsters and Men - King And Lionheart

75 comments:

  1. wow, congratulations! I have very similar needle phobias, and would never take that plunge in a million years.

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  2. congrats, it's beautiful! I wish I understood what it meant. your blouse is beautiful as well :)
    tr[i]b[e]cca

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Gorgeous artwork! You're very talented!

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

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  5. woooowww amazing pictures. you are so beautiful. that tattoo is cool :)

    http://puputnopitasari.blogspot.com/

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  6. Such creative photos! I love the bird concept. And your artwork is amazing; I would seriously hang them on my wall haha. Anyway congrats on the new tattoo! I don't have a fear of needles but I do fear getting something I might regret later on so I've been on the fence about a tattoo. Yours looks so pretty; I wish I knew what it meant.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I know the feeling. I waited 2 and half years before I even started thinking about getting the tattoo for real. :)

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  7. Beautiful !!!!

    Http://Fashioneiric.blogspot.com

    Coline ♡

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  8. Mul endal on ka väga suur hirm süstalde ees, mitte kuidagi ei talu mõtet sellest vaatepildist ja kohe kui kuskil süstlaid näen, siis iseenesest pööran pea ära ja näole tekib vastikust väljendav grimass.
    Aga väga kenad pildid! :)

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  9. Wow :O I've never seen that amazing pictures as you do!

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  10. What does your tattoo say? :) Great pictures, love the colors!

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  11. I love your illustrations, well done for having the courage for the tattoo, it must have been very difficult.. And I adore that song at the bottom, I am listening to it as I write and it is so beautifulxx

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  12. Oh, need pildid on imelised! Linnuidee on lihtsalt suurepärane.

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  13. wow, absolutely amazing photos! <3

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  14. Congrats on facing your fears - so brave of you! I love how your tattoo looks even though I can't read it nor understand it. :) You're photos are amazing as always. Suggestion - to make that drawing of you with camera as your header - it's great, and to post more of your lovely drawings. I love drawings (even though I can't draw myself).
    heart,
    nena.

    www.alice-in-wonderland22.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! Yay, that was the plan actually. Cause I made the drawing for the current header over four years ago and looks so krooked and weird :)
      And it would be nice for a change.

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  15. You look amazing, I love blouse ♥♥ xx A.

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  16. My dear, I just can put in words how much I love your blog. <3 you're awesomeawesomeawesome :)

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  17. beautiful photos as always , i really like the tattoo and i wish i knew what does it say :) it must be wonderful

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  18. Your photos are from Wonderland, aren't they?
    Amazing♥
    musliwithmilk.blogspot.com

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  19. THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!
    I really appreciate all the lovely comments :)

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  20. Love your photos! sooooo beautiful!
    Have a lovely day! xo

    thecleverfoxblog.blogspot.com

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  21. nice photos :)

    http://raspberryandlemonshake.blogspot.com/

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  22. Attention all Kerti Pahk fans!
    I've made a website for all of Kerti Pahk's fans to enjoy. The address is kertiiifans.webs.com.
    Please join if you're a real kerti Pahk fan.

    ReplyDelete
  23. love your tatoo it's so pretty and adore the skirt<3
    your artwork is also amazing you are such an amazing artist
    xx ish
    http://tiny-heart-beats.blogspot.nl/

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  24. Its beautiful and so are you :)

    xo Ashley
    luckylittlebird.blogspot.com

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  25. Jällegi üks väga armas postitus!

    Kelly

    http://thekelluuu.blogspot.com/

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  26. i love your skirt! and the pictures are wonderful as usual! :-) x

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  27. oh, and the tattoo looks nice, too! x

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  28. Your photos always inspires me.. And not only photos. Your outfits, drawings, thoughts - everything gives me so many positive emotions. Thank you gor your blog! You're gorgeous!

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  29. Palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun-palun ütle, mis sul seal käekesel kirjas seisab?

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  30. I'm in love with your pictures everytime! ♥

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  31. So inpirering and beautiful pics! You are so talented!<3

    http://celebritiesandfashionnews.blogspot.de/

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  32. such beautiful pictures and the tattoo is so pretty. so proud of you that you faced your fears.
    xx

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  33. Your tattoo looks amazing! :)
    I also have huge fear of needles and last summer I got my first tattoo too, so I really know what you mean.. I'm very happy for you! You faced your fear and got something you really wanted. Congrats, dear! <3
    And the pictures are fantastic as always! Such an inspiration!

    Desislava
    http://truedreamcatcher.blogspot.com/

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  34. so great that you faced your fear so bravely! the tattoo is very beautiful and the font used suits you perfectly! beautiful pictures also, as always. :) and the song in the end is so beautiful, my favourite from Of Monsters And Men!

    I love your blog so much, you're a true inspiration!

    xoxo

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  35. You look so beautiful! :)

    http://maddenim.blogspot.fi/

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  36. The photographs are flawlessly beautiful, and your beauty is like I've just woke up from a wonderful dream :)
    I admire the fact that you faced your fear... My major phobia are cockroaches, and I know what it is to be consumed by an irrational fear to the point of interfeer in your daily life. Hugs and kisses xx

    www.nancywilde.blogspot.com

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  37. You look so beautiful and the tattoo is really pretty! Its awesome that you overcame you fears. Kudos!
    Xx
    Rhea
    http://fuss.co.in

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  38. great pictures!!
    http://inyasuniverse.blogspot.be/

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  39. Nii ilusad pildid:)

    iluelu.blogspot.com

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  40. Amazing pictures!
    On my blog, i talk a little bit about your pictures :)

    http://theheavyglowblog.blogspot.com.br/2013/01/as-inspiradoras-fotos-de-kerti-pahk_31.html

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  41. I cannot read the tattoo's writing.
    It would be nice if you posted the estonian words (so maybe I can put them into the google translator ;))
    Your pics are amazing as usually, you little beauty (:
    And I am amazed by your drawings <3

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  42. I would really love to buy the skirt but I can't find it anywhere on the site. Along with that crystal embellished blouse, would you please give me the direct link to both-if it's too much to ask. I really really want them to wear :/ Thanks! :D

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  43. Woooow! Amazing photos, you look sooo cute^)
    http://just-vi-blog.blogspot.ru/

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  44. Wow and congratulations! :)
    I have one question too. I think that do I have any change to see your graphic designer portfolio?

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  45. I love this collection , I like to buy all these collection.

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  46. Millisest luuletusest see rida võetud on ja mida see ütleb?

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  47. nice one
    http://www.toponlinemovie.net

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  48. Great pictures, from Indonesian with love
    http://pulauparipulautidung.com

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  49. hello there! I just love your blog, so beautiful! you are soo pretty!
    Love from italy XOXO

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  50. Heey there!

    You are so beatufull, I can't believe!
    You look like a little doll :3

    With Love, Letícia.

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  51. Ulmeline, kuidas üks neiu saab nii ebamaiselt kaunis olla :) Iga kord imetlen, seekord mõtlesin kommentaari ka kirjutad :D

    Päikest
    Stella

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  52. Super artykuł.
    Wróciłam z blogiem. Zapraszam do siebie, artykuły o odchudzaniu i nie tylko.

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  53. Beautiful pictures and yes...great thought of how to overcome your fear or phobia...very good description...Keep it up!!!

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  54. Su pildimaailm on endiselt nagu imeline muinasjutt ja hea näha, et tegusa aja jooksul ikka vahel leiad aega seda maailma jagada :) Alliksaar on ka minu lemmik, aga polegi sellist lauset kuulnud - uudishimust hakkasin otsima ja leidsin, et need vist siiski tunduvad P-E. Rummo sõnad olema... See muidugi ei vähenda mõtet ega ilu ja tätoveeringud on tõesti võimsad, kuna need sõnad või pildid saavad olla Sulle kõige lähemal ning ka õigel hetkel meelde tuletamas seda, mis on oluline.

    Kõike kaunist! Ja ikka inspiratsioonipäikest! :)

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